This paper is research-based argumentative paper about distance-education in the United States. In community college level and how distance-education help student.
The major area needs fix as ASAP are:
1- Add opposition to the Essay
2- The thesis statement should be in the last sentence in introduction paragraph.
3- Paragraph 2 needs add the citation because the paragraph have all of the fact or numbers and you should prove from where you got this information. It seems like plagiarism to from (in Italy many online…. To the end of the paragraphs).
4- Paragraphs 3 (Reduction of coast) need topic sentence and summary sentence for every paragraphs on it to that mean three topic sentence and three summary sentence.
5- Paragraphs 4 (Reduction of course time) 1- is not clear the first part 2- the second part to need to develop the paragraph.
6- This is argument essay it’s mean before the conclusion should have counter argument and refutation. This paper does not have the counter argument and the refutation.
Counter argument it’s mean: make sure it address your points.
Example for a counter argument: 1- it doesn’t recuse course time. 2- it doesn’t make education flexible. ……….
Refutation it’s coming after the counter argument to prove the counters wrong. To
Example for refutation: to the counter is wrong because of A,B,C (here and more details and resource to prove that).
7- About the conclusion: 1- remove to the sentence what talk about “baby boomer” because that is not related to the essay and you not mention about that in any paragraphs before. 2- the conclusion does not summarize essay. Please consider rewrite.
8- Please fix the grammatical issue:
1- Grammar: 1- Use of articles. 2- Sentence structure. 3- Wordiness.
2- Punctuation: 1- Punctuation within a sentence.
3- Style and Word Choice: 1- Writing style. 2- Vocabulary use.